


Dúchas

by EmiAliceinWonderland



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Irish Language, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 14:47:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmiAliceinWonderland/pseuds/EmiAliceinWonderland
Summary: Dúchas (DOO-hass) –  Birthright, heritage, native place, innate quality. THE DRIVE WITHIN .This Irish word sums up what we are born with. One of the many proverbs in which it occurs translates as ‘instinct is stronger than upbringing’.___A continuation of my previous fic exploring Adam's abuse. Focuses on his pre-relationship with Ronan.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Euroshrimp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Euroshrimp/gifts).



> A direct follow on from my fic "Thick Skin And An Elastic Heart" for Euroshrimp! Might not make complete sense if read alone? Focuses more of Pynch, and Adam breaking down after the court case in BLLB. Sorry it's so Irish and Pynch centric, I couldn't help myself, I need my Celtic Ronan being sweet and soft with Adam. 
> 
> TW: description of panic attack.

Adam flinches slightly as Ronan stands up from his place kneeling on the floor by Adam's chair and reaches out to wrap his arms around him. Even though he is expecting the hug, the rarity of physical comfort in Adam Parrish's life still serves to make the touch a surprise. 

"Hey, this is okay, right?", Ronan says in a soft, worried voice, his arms tentatively around Adam with the gentleness he usually only reserves for Chainsaw. He pulls back a little, his usual harsh expression schooled into something much more open, caring.

"It's okay," Adam whispers back, letting himself fold into the other boys body. Ronan is standing, and Adam's knees are too weak from the fear of the nightmare to not stay sitting down, and so his head comes to rest at the point between Ronan's chest and his tummy. Ronan tightens his strong arms around Adam's back, and Adam closes his eyes, his cheek pressing warmth through Ronan's t-shirt into his skin. 

Adam presses his hands together, holding his own palms. He has done this too many times to count.

At the trailer, in his small bed, at night, a little boy wanting comfort, holding his own hand. 

The memories start to overwhelm him, the vision of his father being right here in this room, haunting him, hurting him, hurting _Ronan,_ won't leave his mind. 

He doesn't realise he's started crying again until Ronan gives him a gentle shake, worry clear in his voice. 

"Parrish?"

"I'm fine," Adam says instinctively, pulling away, cringing at the way 'I'm fine' sounded. He had almost sobbed out the phrase. He was a good actor, but sometimes it was hard to keep up the facade. 

"You're not fine," Ronan replied, ducking down a little to catch Adam's eyes. "Come lie down?", he adds, holding out a hand for Adam to take. 

For some reason this simple request makes Adam cry harder. He's almost hyperventialating again and the room is blurry and he can't do this, he can't do this, he can't do this. 

"Fuck," he hears Ronan whisper, before his shaking body is being pulled up from the chair, and before he knows it he is on his mattress on the floor and Ronan is curled around him, holding him still. 

He's sobbing so hard he starts coughing, huge racking gasps being pulled violently from his body. He feels like he might be sick. Every emotion he's had about this court case, the anxiety leading up to it, the panic of going in there alone, the shock of Ronan and Gansey turning up, the trauma of seeing his dad again, the paranoia everytime the defendent of the accused spoke. _Am I really exagerrating this? Was it really abuse?  Am I a bad son?_

He doesn't know how long it takes, but he eventually drifts slowly back into reality, and hears Ronan softly singing. The other boys arms are around him, and he is curled into his strong, warm chest. It is safe here, and he suddenly focuses in on quiet singing in a language he doesn't recognise that seems to have helped his breathing and depersonalisation without him realising. 

_"Sé mo laoch mo ghille mear, sé mo Shaesar, ghille mear,"_

Adam opens his eyes, Ronan's quiet tenor is right next to his hearing ear. The other boy has his chin hooked over Adam's shoulder, and his arms wrapped around his back, rubbing soothing circles over his spine as he sings. The vibrations of his voice are against Adam's neck, and he shivers, but this time it's not out of fear.   
  
He lies completely still, not because he is uncomfortable, for some reason being this close to Ronan seems completely natural. 

_"Ní fhuaras féin aon tsuan ná séan, Ó chuaigh i gcéin mo ghille mear"_

Adam breathes long and slow as he listens to Ronan, he thinks the language might be Irish, it's not Latin, and Adam knows of no other language that Ronan could let roll from his tongue so easily. His voice is beautifully forming around the guttaral vowels and sounds that don't belong in English but feel so right coming from Ronan. 

"It's beautiful," Adam gets out in a croack after minutes of lying there. 

Ronan finishes the end of the phrase he was singing, and pulls back to see Adam, but doesn't let go of his arms around him. 

"Do you know what it's called?"  
  
Adam shakes his head.   
  
"Mo Ghille Mear," Ronan says softly, looking Adam right in the eyes, "My Gallant Hero."  
  
Adam smiles for the first time that day, and Ronan returns it.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the song Ronan sang: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxjvNUNXhkU  
> Sorry for the Irish lyrics I included I know when you don't know gaelic pronounciation it just looks like "asjdgskjldkfhkdjshfkjdhf" in your head >_<  
> Hope you enjoyed anyway! Comments very appreciated <3


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